I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK  (Nora Ephron)

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Adventures in Cosmetic Surgery, part one

Here’s  where we talk about not succumbing to the pressures of the world to look younger and to find our inner beauty and let that be our guideposts. That sounds amazing. The place where that happens is called Heaven.  But in a world where Christie Brinkley and Jane Fonda and Helen Mirren are setting the looks standards for our age group, I am caving.

And I am not alone. According to a recent New York Daily News article, 85 percent of 55 to 64-year-olds said they are unhappy about “at least one” body part. The article went on to say that  a report commissioned by RealSelf.com – an online community around elective cosmetic procedures – showed that the trend to seek help from a cosmetic doctor is on the rise by more than 200 percent.

The cover story of the upcoming issue of Time Magazine (June 29, 2015) is entitled: NIP. TUCK. OR ELSE.

The June issue of MORE magazine asked three talented, well-known, thoughtful women to present their feelings on cosmetic procedures. Fay Weldon, 83, is a best-selling author, Deborah Copaken, 49, a well-respected photojournalist and author, and Lynn Schnurnberger, 65, is an artist, playwright and author.

Weldon feels like many of us, conflicted. She says there should be a certain respect for the aging process, but admits to having eyelid surgery many years ago. A fact she also kept a secret for years.

Copaken is adamantly against any procedures. A chance encounter with a rude and aggressive cosmetic surgeon radicalized her against any procedures, she said.Copaken went on to say that the lines on her face are, “symbolically beautiful” and refuses to be “beauty bullied”.

Schnurnberger admits to regular appointments with her dermatologist for Botox and to having an eyelid procedure. Unfortunately, she suffered a burst blood vessel following that surgery and is unsure if she is willing to go “under the knife” again.

I included the women’s ages because that is an important point. I wasn’t interested in any facial procedures at 49. Now a mere 10 years later, I feel differently. I delusionally  assumed that if I slathered on the sunscreen, kept hydrating, exfoliated religiously and bought every skin lotion and potion that promised to hold up my face, I could keep the drumbeat of age from showing. In short, I fell for those glossy, photoshopped magazine ads.

So much for the general trends. Why am I having cosmetic surgery? The very simple reason is, I truly do feel bad about my neck. Sitting in the car at a stop light, I imagine the person next to me thinking, “Wow look at the dropping  neck on her. She should get that fixed.” At which point I prop my hand up under the sagging flesh! I gave up turtlenecks because my neck was, literally resting on top of the sweater. I imagine that the best selfie pose for me is looking straight up. Fixing my neck is something I have gone on  ad nauseam to Paul and Christina. My daughter, bless  her, never wants me to have anything done. Paul will  be relieved for me to be finished talking about it and stop pulling my neck back to show how fabulous I would look!

Unless my pre-op tests prevent me from proceeding, this is happening.

Obviously, the subject of having cosmetic surgery brings up many issues. I have struggled with what wanting this says about me. Does admitting to wanting these treatments and procedures show a shallow and self-absorbed mentality? Yes, I can be shallow. Yes, I can be self-absorbed. But I am more than those things.

I intend to cut and tell. Which is obvious because it is in the blog!  I intend to tell my friends and family before the procedure and, if anyone asks why I looks so fabulous, I will fess up. Why are we lying and sneaking around about this ladies? This only gives credence to the idea that we feel shame on some level.You know what you should feel shame about? That you didn’t help someone in need. That you were rude to a cashier in the grocery store. Not this.

FULL DISCLOSURE: When I turned 40, I had a tummy tuck. While I am not a serial user of cosmetic procedures, I am no stranger.

Which brings me to my first consultation with a cosmetic surgeon…..the meeting after which my husband and I went for a drink and I seriously considered forgetting the whole idea.

NEXT TIME: “YOU NEED IT” and other things  a cosmetic surgeon should not say.

Adventures in Cosmetic Surgery, part two